#187 Grace and Space

Have you ever found yourself quickly judging a barking, lunging dog and their flustered owner? That fleeting moment of reactivity represents just 0.01% of that dog's life—a snapshot that fails to capture their true nature.

Behind every reactive episode is a beloved pet who cuddles on the couch, plays fetch with enthusiasm, and follows cues beautifully at home. These dogs are cherished family members whose owners know a completely different side to them than what strangers witness during those brief reactive moments. This disconnect creates a heavy emotional burden for these dedicated owners who constantly worry: Will someone yell at me today? Will people think my dog is dangerous? Will anyone ever meet the dog that I know and love?

Chapters

• 0:00 The Reality of Reactive Dogs
• 0:49 The Emotional Toll on Owners
• 1:09 How to Respond with Empathy
• 1:51 Supporting Those Doing the Work

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

So here's something that I don't think we talk enough about. If you see someone out in public with a reactive dog, give them some grace. You see a barking, lunging dog and a panicked owner trying to create space, and I get it. It's easy to judge, but here's what you're not seeing. That same dog is probably calm, sweet and well-behaved 99.9% of the time. That dog is probably the most loved and well-behaved dog at home. When they're with their family, they cuddle on the couch, they play fetch, they follow cues, they make their owner laugh.

Speaker 1: 0:49

But that tiny little 0.01%, that moment of barking and lunging, is all most other people see, and that takes a huge emotional toll on the owner, and not just in the moment when it happens, but before and after as well. And that's because these owners know how great their dog can be and it's heartbreaking that one reactive moment can feel like it erases all of the good stuff. So they worry constantly. What if today's the day that someone yells at me? What if people think my dog is dangerous? What if they never meet the dog that? I know? They're carrying the weight of both love and fear, because they love a dog that most people never really get to meet, and that can be incredibly isolating.

Speaker 1: 1:49

So the next time you see a dog struggling out in public, here's what you can do Give them space, move over, change directions, cross the street. Don't crowd them, don't give unsolicited training advice and don't assume the worst. You're seeing a fraction of a second, not the full dog. And show some empathy, you know, especially in front of your kids or friends. Teach them what it looks like to be kind in the face of discomfort. And no, I'm not talking about folks that ignore safety or let their dogs run wild. But if someone is doing the work, they're trying to manage the distance, they're using treats, they're avoiding triggers. They deserve support, not side-eye. So give them space and give them grace, because one tough moment shouldn't define a dog or the person who's giving them their best chance.