#230 Don't Watch Me

Ever asked your dog to “watch me” and wondered why they still feel wound tight? We dig into the quiet truth most training clips skip: eye contact is a behavior, not a feeling, and pinning a stare rarely resets a stressed nervous system. 

Chapters

• 0:04 Welcome And Common Cue
• 0:29 Eye Contact Myth
• 0:54 Action Versus Emotion
• 1:14 Train Regulation, Not Repression
• 2:03 Movement And Natural Check-Ins
• 2:36 Connection Over Obedience

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:04

Welcome to the Five Minute Dog, the mini podcast that delivers practical training advice in less than five minutes.

SPEAKER_01: 0:13

When I meet new dog owners, one of the first cues that they often mention is watch me or look. They've seen it online or in obedience videos, and it sounds great in theory. If the dog is looking at you, they must be paying attention to you, right? Well, not exactly. I've watched countless dogs execute a perfect watch me. Their eyes snap to their owner's face on cue, they hold it for a few seconds, and they even get a treat for it. But here's what most people miss. The dog's brain hasn't actually reset. Their body is still tight, ears flicking, pupils are huge. They're looking at you, but they're still feeling stressed or over aroused or anxious about whatever's out there. Many people assume that watch me somehow interrupts emotion. Like it makes the dog take a deep breath and calm down, but it doesn't. It's an action, not a feeling. The dog might perform it beautifully while still internally spiraling. It's kind of like asking an anxious child to look at me when they're upset. You might get the eye contact, but you didn't change how they feel. You didn't help them process or decompress. You just got a quick moment of control that looks good from the outside. So I would rather teach something that builds true connection, something that helps the dog regulate instead of repress. That might be natural check-ins where the dog chooses to look at you on their own, or movement cues like let's go or this way, which gives them an outlet to move, breathe, and feel safer. When dogs learn that moving with you makes the world less scary, they want to look at you. They don't do it because you ask, they do it because they trust you. And that's the difference between obedience and communication. So remember, eye contact isn't the goal. Connection is. Watch me might look impressive, but it's not a shortcut to trust or calm or attention. I would rather see a dog glance back at their person voluntarily, tell relaxed and body loose, and then happily move forward together. That's not obedience, that's partnership.